When does a mini-makeover become plastic surgery?

When a renovating retiree is in the picture - that's when. The basement bathroom didn't get a total face-lift, but it was definitely more than a trip to the Clinique or Lancome counter. Possibly more like a nose job-type of reno and almost as painful.

BEFORE = really outdated.
Most of the work was concentrated on this area.

We originally planned to just change the outdated formica vanity top. Sounds easy enough. Then I suggested we get rid of the brass fixtures. OK, not too bad. And while we're at it, let's look for another light fixture - the one in place was the old fashioned "hollywood dressing room" type. Well, if we replace that we may need to replace the outdated mirror. If we remove the mirror (which is glued to the wall), the sheet rock will need to be repaired and repainting the room will be a must. If we paint the walls we need to paint the ceiling. And while I'm at it I might as well paint the trim. Then I thought that the vanity could use an updating with a nice shade of charcoal gray...and this is how a mini-makeover (think - using a new foundation and eyeshadow) turns into a job that costs more, requires more man hours, and a helluva lot more energy (like invasive plastic surgery requiring anesthesia and time to heal).

That is not a blow dryer but a heat gun we used
in hopes of removing the glue from the wall.

As usual there were some bumps and craters in the road. I won't go into the fiasco involving the installation of the lighting fixture. I'm sure this product that was made in China was designed just to piss off Americans that were stupid enough to buy it. 'Nuf said. And re-installing the toilet tank and the new plumbing for the sink gave us a better appreciation of plumbers that can do it quickly and only one time (yes - why do things once when you can do it multiple times?) without having leaks. It took us over a week to complete this project and once again I'd like to throw a wrench at the TV when the people in those commercials spritely claim, "Update your bathroom in a weekend!" Idiots.

After
 My daughter's artwork was a perfect compliment to the more contemporary design.

Not too bad for under $400.

Budget was $300 however, we went over - shocker. We were able to use a faucet we originally had in the upstairs bath along with hooks, hinges and cabinet pulls that were stored in the attic. I had some paint in the garage leftover from painting the living areas that I could utilize. We kept the same shelf which my dad hung over 25 years ago, and just spruced it up with some white spray paint, which we always keep on hand. All of the items that we were able to reuse helped keep the costs* in line which resulted in me naming this room the "mish-mosh bathroom". Part new - part leftover stuff. Hopefully you'll agree that it came together fairly well and didn't completely break the bank.

Vanity top $140 
Mirror $64
Light Fixture $72
Toilet paper holder $10
Vanity paint $15
Ceiling paint $27
Misc. painting and plumbing supplies $30
Total:   $358
$58 over budget

*All costs from Lowes include Phil's 10% veterans discount; however it does not include the gas consumed for the many trips back and forth to Lowes to get the right plumbing parts.

This is just a warm up leading to the Big Kahuna of renovation- THE MASTER BATH. Stay tuned... 

Alright, which one of you hog-tied the substitute?

I thought this excerpt from "Caught in the Middle" would be appropriate at this time since I have decided , in retirement, to substitute teach a few days a week. Let me clarify that I am choosing to sub in elementary schools NOT middle schools, and if you continue to read this excerpt you will see why...

             * * * *  * * * * *

Alright…which one of you hog-tied the substitute? (aka PARTY TIME)

Thankfully it never got to this extreme, although it’s been close – too close. This book would definitely not be complete without a chapter dedicated to the ever-mistreated, always underpaid, unsung hero - the substitute teacher.

There are a lot of very challenging and difficult jobs in a school. As you read in the first chapter, I have had quite a few. One of the toughest was substitute teacher. When my daughter was in 2nd grade, I decided that it would be a great idea for me to earn some extra money by being a sub. I only substituted at my daughter’s elementary school and spent most of my time subbing for kindergarten teachers. I guess all the snot, pee, poop, and god knows what other germs that these kindergarten teachers endured was just too much for their immune systems. Substitute teaching in an elementary school was never easy, but in a middle school??? That’s a whole other ball game.

Right now, I want you to think back to when you were in school. Go ahead, rewind that clock. Do you remember what your reaction was when you walked into the classroom and you saw a substitute at the teacher’s desk?

In elementary school, you were worried and wondered where your teacher had gone and when he or she was coming back. It just wasn’t the same without your beloved, real teacher. You were sad.

In high school it’s all about getting that diploma and getting into college. Having a substitute was frustrating because you knew the class was going to get behind, and then when the teacher DID get back well, you would be working doubletime. You were annoyed.

In middle school, unless you were a total geek, it was just quite simply – PARTY TIME! You were ecstatic, joyous, and celebratory. Word spread like wildfire and those that would, were already thinking of ways to create disruptions. Not a whole lot has changed. Only now, I think the mischief has been kicked up a notch and drives these poor substitutes to new levels of insanity.

As a middle school administrator I always made sure I knew which classes had a sub so I could be sure to walk through regularly and give the students the stink-eye so they would know if they got into trouble they would be dealing with me.

As I walked through the classroom, I sincerely thanked the sub for his or her time in hopes that he or she would come back again and live to fight another day. Although most of them, at the end of the school day looked not only harried, but shell-shocked.  After the last bell rang, I’m sure they ran like hell out the doors and headed straight to the local Mexican Restaurant for the two-for-one margarita special.

Remember, we are dealing with pubescent kids who truly only care about one thing - what their peers think, which means showing their butt when they have a substitute is part of the package. Not literally thank god – at least I don’t remember dealing with someone that mooned a sub. Maybe my brain has just tried to wipe out that memory. Although I do remember a situation in a Florida middle school regarding a boy mooning the entire girls’ volleyball team, but that’s a whole other story.

If parents could see how their little darling behaves in the classroom when they have a substitute, they would think that someone had absconded with their child’s brain and body.

Parent: Where is my child? What creature has overtaken his mind and body?

Me: The alien known as Hormones (pronounced hor – mone- ees) from the planet Idontgiveashit.

  * * * * * * * * * * * *

Substitute teaching certainly has its ups and downs. But so does renovating. The bedroom closet is repaired and more structurally sound than it ever was. This week we will be working on the mini-bathroom makeover. I'll have before, during and after pictures soon!

What things go BUMP in the night?

All the clothes in our closet- that's what.

Phil and I had planned on using this weekend to put a more modern touch on the basement bathroom - just a slight makeover to bring it into the 21st century. If you have been following my blog, you know I have been talking about our plans for the master bath renovation for some time. Being the great procrastinators that we are, we found a smaller project to tackle before the one that will surely lead to anxiety overdrive, an empty bank account, and a trip to the marriage counselor. So, we decided to take a less challenging project first - the basement bathroom. We ordered a new vanity top and were ready to go with the plans to spruce up the cave-like space that has not been updated in over 10 years. Then the shisnick hit the fan - or literally - the crap hit the floor.

Wednesday morning at 5AM while slumbering and enjoying the last moments of dreamland, we were awoken with a CRASH! I have to say it scared the bejeezuz out of me. I thought to myself, "Well, that's it. The house was finally crumbling." But thankfully it wasn't the roof falling in. It was the shelving and rack in our closet that holds all the clothes and items (which we probably don't need) that occupy the shelf above where the clothes hang. The drywall pulled away from the studs and it fell like a pine tree in an ice storm. And to me, it was just as loud.

The end result of faulty sheet rock installation 30 years ago.

Phil went to Walmart (better him than me) and bought some clothes racks to temporarily hold all our clothes. It looks like the time we thought we'd be spending on the basement bathroom will be spent repairing sheet rock and fixing the closet. And dammit, I'll probably end up having to paint the inside of the closet, which no one but the future buyers of our house will ever see. Can you tell I'm whining???

The boys' and Annamarie's rooms are completely
filled with shisnick from our closet.

This is not going to be an easy or fun fix.  We do not have large walk in closets that would be easy to work in and around. No - we have the old fashioned narrow closets, which are a pain in the butt. And let's hope we don't have to take the doors off. Getting them back on is about as fun as having oral surgery.

Ready for sheet rock, some mud, and new paint.

I suppose we should look at this as an "opportunity" to get rid of clothes and items we don't wear or need any longer. Simplify and minimize. That's my new motto. Maybe another yard sale is in our future...

Up next! Basement bathroom mini-makeover!

Is Chicago "My kind of town"?

As Frank Sinatra crooned the words "My kind of town, Chicago is", he certainly wasn't exaggerating. Neither is the sign advertising the the stretch of State Street called the "Magnificent Mile". Chicago is pure delight.

Last year, after my mom passed away, my sister and I decided to plan a trip down memory lane in honor of my mom and dad. Sort of retracing our roots, so to speak.We were both born in or around the city of Chicago. My parents met and fell in love in this city and our grandparents lived and worked here as well. I had not been back to the city in 40 years and am so glad I finally found my way back "home".

The tiny house we lived in when I was born.
(Schiller Park - right outside of the city)

My sis and I had a wonderful time visiting all the places we lived and places we loved, while reminiscing and retelling family stories. But in addition to this, something unexpected happened to me on this trip - I fell in love with the Windy City.

I have traveled a great deal all over the world and have been to some of the world's greatest cities: London. Paris, Rome, Tokyo, New York, Los Angeles, Miami, and many more.  Up until now, I have always thought of Paris as my most favorite city. However, I think Paris now has some stiff competition.  Chicago definitely has taken a top spot on my list. 

Outdoor Amphitheater

Why??? Well, I'll start with the obvious - it's gorgeous. The city is rich in art and architecture. You may say - "Yeah, well so are all the other cities". That may be true, but Chicago just has a "niceness" to it that the other cities just don't have. You feel warm and welcome here as if the city envelopes you in it's hospitality and history. It's a special place where...

...like London, Paris, and Rome, a river runs right through the city. While on a boat traveling through the core of this metropolis, you are surrounded by phenomenal structures such as the Wrigley Building and Marina City.

The Chicago River

Marina City

A view of The Wrigley Building

...art and sculptures by Picasso and other renowned artists are scattered about the city so that "Everyman" can enjoy the work of  these creative geniuses.

Cloud Gate (aka The Bean) at Millennium Park

...you can rent bicycles and ride along the lake on an 18 mile trail and enjoy a view of the beach and lake and the parks. 

Trail along Lake Michigan
The John Hancock building is in the background.

... the people are so nice and helpful that at stores, restaurants, hotels, while walking on the streets, and even at the airport you never meet a snarky person. 

... it's CLEAN. I mean really CLEAN.

... the neighborhoods consist of stunning, tree-lined streets with buildings built at the turn of the century. The beautiful cut limestone or brick houses with ironwork are to die for.  

I imagine this city as humble. It doesn't have the bustle or trademark style of New York. It doesn't have the quirkiness of LA, the snobbishness of Paris, nor the hipness of South Beach. It's simply nice - like its people. 

To me, Chicago is the forgotten city in the USA. It doesn't brag, wave its greatness in your face, or try too hard. It's just surprisingly wonderful. Chicago was my first home and this trip helped me develop a great appreciation and love for it. I think my mom and dad would be very pleased that my sister and I had a fantastic time in the city where we began our journey through life.

Frank Sinatra said it best through the lyrics of a song about this great city:

My Kind of Town

This is my kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of people, too
People who smile at you

And each time I roam, Chicago is
Calling me home, Chicago is
Why I grin like a clown
It's my kind of town

You CAN go home again and I definitely will!

The quest for HGTV stardom continues...

The house that stole my heart.

I have made my first step towards becoming the newest HGTV star and no - I didn't have a face-lift or boob-lift. Although that certainly would be helpful - no doubt.

I found an awesome project. Now all I have to do is convince Phil. Oh... and find the money, write a proposal, find a producer etc etc. But one small step at a time...

Phil and I took a field trip to Thomasville last weekend just to check things out. I was certainly right about one thing. The town is adorable. The downtown area has a very young, hip feel. Old brick storefronts' second stories have been converted to lofts and condos that are attracting a younger clientele. There are restaurants, bars, coffee houses and boutiques. Broad Street is indeed broad and brick-paved giving it that historic charm.

We spent the afternoon looking at old houses that need restoration. They all come with similar issues - termite damage, mold and mildew, funky layouts and additions made throughout the years that are definitely not to code. But they also come with incredible craftsmanship (mantles, woodwork) and history. As I age, I find myself becoming drawn to less shiny, new objects and more to weathered items made from quality materials that sport a patina or a maybe a bit of rust (sort of like my skin and joints!). Things that were made 100 years ago were not mass produced, but required a knowledgeable laborer who learned the process from a master, like these old houses. 

OK...so it needs a bit work - don't we all?
All hardwood floors are intact as well as bead-board ceilings.

One house, built in the 1890's, particularly stole my heart. It is a mess. Every part of the house needs work. It looks like it could be set for demolition in the near future. 







To ignore this pestering itch in regards to this house and find something a bit less overwhelming would be the safe thing to do - the practical thing to do. That just makes sense. Phil and I are older with a limited bank account and should guard what we have. I also understand that as we age, a lot of decisions (or lack of) are based on fear and practicality, as opposed to unbridled confidence, spontaneity and passion like when we were young. Does it have to be like this? If so - that's pretty sad. I just don't think Phil and I are ready to give up those aspects of youth yet. Yes, the work would be very challenging and investing in something like this is always a risk. But, this house could be magnificent again, as I imagine it was when it was first inhabited by William Beverly, the lumber dealer and alderman who was the original owner 110 years ago. 

They don't make 'em like that anymore!

Gorgeous pocket door. Not sure what the deal is about all the pink though.

Original butler's pantry is still intact.

Maybe you or someone you know is looking for an investment in a piece of history and a possible slam dunk real estate-wise. 

Wait - I just had another brilliant idea. Hey... Nicole Curtis - listen up. We could be partners! Yeah - I'll even work on toning the arms and get some hair extensions! It's a helluva alot warmer in Thomasville than Detroit! Whaddyasay? You in? We could save this house, make it shine again, and make some money in the process. 

 Or.... maybe I'll win a contest or the lottery this year. If I do, my first call will be to Thomasville with an offer for this house. Then, the second call will be to the plastic surgeon. After all, you have to look good on HGTV, right?

Could Phil and I be the next stars of HGTV?

I don't really use a cane, but I thought it was a nice touch.
Granny glasses and elbow brace?  Necessity.

I have no clue where I get my crazy ideas. They just come to me like POP! - a moment of brilliance that lights up all the neurons in my brain and away I go. Wait till you hear this one...

I have been talking to Phil about flipping a house in Thomasville, Georgia. What??? you say??? I got the idea after watching a show on HGTV where a young couple helped another young couple renovate their historic home in this small town. 

The houses in Thomasville are fairly cheap and there is probably a reason for that - who wants to live in Thomasville, right? But it is a cute little town with lots of old houses that are in desperate need of repair. You may say, "Patti, restoring or flipping a home is not an original idea." But wait - this idea has another dimension...

Downtown Thomasville

As with most shows on HGTV or DIY, the renovators, clients, workers are all YOUNG. Ever watch House, Yard, Bath or Kitchen Crashers? You know the show I mean - the one where they go into a Lowes or Home Depot and choose a couple to "crash" their house or yard? They tease the audience by speaking to customers of all ages, but they NEVER choose anyone over the age of 35. What the hell? Do TV producers not realize that the baby boomers are the largest demographic? Where are the old people on these networks? I stopped watching the "crash" shows specifically because of that. The purposeful neglecting of senior citizens (gosh I hate that term - let's just say "the older and wiser population") on reality home improvement shows stimulated the birth of my idea.

Who wants to watch young, sexy renovators?
On second thought,  don't answer that question.

I think that I should pitch a TV show where Phil and I are the "Flippin' Seniors". Our renovations are laughable as it is, but I think we could really bring home the difficulty of completing work with aching joints, bad backs, poor eyesight, the frequent need to pee, and going to bed by nine. We could focus on one room at a time and, as another layer of the show, invite a different senior family or friend to assist in each episode, which would undoubtedly lead to more chuckles and chaos. As each show comes to an end, we would hopefully have a new room and gather around the grill with our wine and beer nursing our aches and pains, reminiscing about the past and toasting the future. I think it's brilliant. I would watch that.

Yep. Perfect ad for our new show!

And think how easy it would be to sell advertising. Viagra, Depends, Milk of Magnesia, Lipitor - the list is endless! 

Now, I have to tell you, when I explained all this to Phil he looked at me like I lost my marbles. But, that's OK. First of all - after 30 years he's used to my hare-brained schemes. Secondly, his doubting my sanity doesn't frighten me. I've been in the trenches in middle school. I can handle anything. Or maybe that's where I lost my mind. Hmmm...

Anyone out there know a TV producer? I'm ready for my close-up.

Is a "hair" transplant the answer?

Ladies and gents- as you age you will find that your hair is not what it once was. Just another fabulous aspect of getting older. It's not enough for nature to throw wrinkles, sagging skin, and sore joints at you - the "mutha" nature has to include thinning hair as well. However, this post is not actually about me considering a human hair transplant (OUCH!). It's about using the same concept only using grass instead of hair. Not on my head of course, on our yard. Or what once was a yard, which is now sickly and balding and resembles a battlefield where dirt was the victor and grass the defeated.

At one time our yard was the envy of the neighborhood, thick and luscious - Phil's pride and joy.

THEN -  I could not find a picture (out of the thousands I have) of our yard way back when. You have to look between Anthony and Annamarie to see how nice the yard was. Or just take my word for it. It was gorgeous. A great place for Easter Egg Hunts!

Enter financial woes that would not allow a $250 monthly water bill to nourish the grass (we have almost an acre), a scalping of the land and then erosion that followed from removing all the pines, and years of incredible heat and drought in the summer. And there you have it - a yard in deep despair. It's pitiful and screaming for what once was. 

We have tried reseeding and hiring company after company to try and bring this disaster called our yard back to life and pretty much wasted thousands of dollars. Nothing has worked. I told Phil - I'm done with seed, straw and those machines that supposedly punch holes in the soil for seed that will never amount to much. It's time for the big guns - it's time for sod.

NOW - Seriously ugly.  This yard is pleading I NEED SOD!!!

We will never be able to afford to sod the whole yard. All I'm asking for is the front yard and possibly the side to prevent any further erosion. I want Zoysia in the front and Fescue on the side.

This desire for sod led me to create a special bank account that I call our "Saving for Sod" account. All the money from the yard sale, consignment shops, Craig's list and eBay sales has been carefully tucked away in hopes of rescuing our poor, poor landscape. I have enough saved for a backhoe to remove some 30 year old ugly bushes and shrubs and maybe enough for a pallet or two of Zoysia. But we will need much more.

As we wait for the "Saving for Sod" account to grow, we are trying grass (hair) plugs in some of the bare spots. My dad did this over 28 years ago while he and my mom were visiting and the area he plugged is fantastic. The Zoysia is thick and pretty much impossible to kill. 

This was started with sod plugs. Thanks Dad!

We still had the original tool in the shed (remember Phil throws nothing out!) and to speed things up he went out and bought another one (remember - can't have just one!) and I'm glad he did. Working together we were able to pull over 100 plugs and transplant them around our newly renovated patio. 

Tools of the trade - the green one is the original. We used
these to pull from...

here - to transplant....

over here. (Sorry about the thumb) See - it looks like a hair transplant!

I'll let you know if this crazy experiment works.

In the meantime I'm searching the house for anything that is not nailed down as a potential article to be sold on Craig's List or eBay for our "sod" account. Hmmm. Maybe I should wander out to the garage... (shhh don't tell Phil!)