I thought this excerpt from "Caught in the Middle" would be appropriate at this time since I have decided , in retirement, to substitute teach a few days a week. Let me clarify that I am choosing to sub in elementary schools NOT middle schools, and if you continue to read this excerpt you will see why...
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Alright…which one of you hog-tied the substitute? (aka PARTY TIME)
Thankfully it never got to this extreme, although it’s been
close – too close. This book would definitely not be complete without a chapter
dedicated to the ever-mistreated, always underpaid, unsung hero - the
substitute teacher.
There are a lot of very challenging and difficult jobs in a
school. As you read in the first chapter, I have had quite a few. One
of the toughest was substitute teacher. When my daughter was in 2nd grade, I decided that it would be a great idea for me to earn some extra money
by being a sub. I only substituted at my daughter’s elementary school and spent
most of my time subbing for kindergarten teachers. I guess all the snot, pee,
poop, and god knows what other germs that these kindergarten teachers endured
was just too much for their immune systems. Substitute teaching in an
elementary school was never easy, but in a middle school??? That’s a whole
other ball game.
Right now, I want you to think back to when you were in
school. Go ahead, rewind that clock. Do you remember what your reaction was when
you walked into the classroom and you saw a substitute at the teacher’s desk?
In elementary school, you were worried and wondered where
your teacher had gone and when he or she was coming back. It just wasn’t the
same without your beloved, real
teacher. You were sad.
In high school it’s all about getting that diploma and
getting into college. Having a substitute was frustrating because you knew the
class was going to get behind, and then when the teacher DID get back well, you
would be working doubletime. You were annoyed.
In middle school, unless you were a total geek, it was just
quite simply – PARTY TIME! You were ecstatic, joyous, and celebratory. Word
spread like wildfire and those that would, were already thinking of ways to
create disruptions. Not a whole lot has changed. Only now, I think the mischief
has been kicked up a notch and drives these poor substitutes to new levels of
insanity.
As a middle school administrator I always made sure I knew
which classes had a sub so I could be sure to walk through regularly and give
the students the stink-eye so they would know if they got into trouble they
would be dealing with me.
Remember, we are dealing with pubescent kids who truly only
care about one thing - what their peers think, which means showing their butt when
they have a substitute is part of the package. Not literally thank god – at
least I don’t remember dealing with someone that mooned a sub. Maybe my brain
has just tried to wipe out that memory. Although I do remember a situation in a Florida middle school regarding a boy mooning the entire girls’ volleyball team, but that’s a whole
other story.
If parents could see how their little darling behaves in the classroom when they have a substitute, they would think that someone had absconded with their
child’s brain and body.
Parent: Where is my
child? What creature has overtaken his mind and body?
Me: The alien known as
Hormones (pronounced hor – mone- ees) from the planet Idontgiveashit.
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Substitute teaching certainly has its ups and downs. But so does renovating. The bedroom closet is repaired and more structurally sound than it ever was. This week we will be working on the mini-bathroom makeover. I'll have before, during and after pictures soon!
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