Wonder if Old English works on wrinkles?

A while ago I watched an episode of Rehab Addict (Nicole Curtis is my fave) and she took a buffet left for dead in the trash and revived the piece by rubbing it with lemon oil. I thought I would give that a shot on the Cargo furniture in the boys' room and it actually worked really well. 

Before

After

And then I thought...

If it works this well on wood maybe it would revive my old wrinkly skin! Maybe I should just dip myself in a vat of it. I could see the internet headlines and ads now...

"Retired assistant principal finds cure for wrinkles and you won't believe what it is! She jumps in the vat as a 60 year old and comes out with 30 year old skin! Watch the Dr. Oz show to find out what this miracle cure really is!"

Don't you hate when they tease like that and just don't come out and tell you what the answer is? Or they make it sound like some amazing discovery. For example:

Note that it is INSTANT arm lift

AND... this was a picture from an ad for a supposed cellulite miracle product:

Could this be what every woman is waiting for?

They are all just pitching yet another product that will disappoint and not work because gravity is gravity and fat is fat. Sigh... I think I might have better luck trying the Old English.

Next on the project agenda - paint the boys' room and ceiling. 


Updates:
Gym membership is a no-go for me. Somehow I injured my elbow lifting weights (old tennis elbow injury) and it is just not worth hurting it any more. Continuing the pool workouts and walking. I hated walking on a treadmill anyway - wasn't meant to be an Astro.

No word from any literary agents on my attempt at writing a book (Caught in the Middle). However, I won't give up yet. Someone out there may see the value and market for allowing people to laugh at the craziness of middle school.

I'm currently waiting to hear from the people at HGTV notifying me that I won the SmartHome. I should be getting a call in a month or so. Cash option will be the choice and, of course, I already have plans for all the money. I'm nothing if not optimistic.

Guess this is NOT going to happen