Am I living up to my own hype?

It’s been one month since I retired. A mini- anniversary of sorts. I’ve spent some time reflecting on the title of my blog and contemplating if I have lived up to the title and if I have truly been re-vamping my life for my 3rd Act.

My thoughts:

Renovating – wish I was doing more. Master bath is on hold again until a month after my husband’s hernia surgery that he postponed from December. I will be doing some small things around the house but they are pretty much a big snore, like painting, and I wouldn’t want to bore you. Besides I’ve already given you all my painting tips in a previous post and that is about all I can squeeze out of that, unless of course I once again do a face plant during the process (see previous post).

Reinventing – I have found this to be a slow process of morphing into something else besides a school administrator. Slow, because I spent over 16 years as a school employee and was immersed in my work. Transition (mentally) takes time. A lot of thought needs to be put into how I see myself being productive and doing things I enjoy  while hoping to earn some money. But I am, if nothing else, determined to try new things. Now, I’m not going to start training to climb Mt. Everest or have aspirations of becoming the next Nobel Peace Prize winner. But I have managed to start a blog, acquired advertising on the site (click on ads if you see something interesting!), and began cleaning out the s**t we have accumulated over the last 30 years, which I have been selling on eBay and Craig’s List. I've been working on staying healthy and fit, working out at the pool three days a week, walking daily whether it’s outside or at the mall, and oh, by the way, signing up for a gym membership (there will definitely be a post about this experience soon). None of this is earth-shattering or really difficult but, I’m happy with what I have accomplished so far. Is it enough??? Oh hell no.

 Reimagining – This to me is the most exciting part of the process. We sometimes can be our own worst enemy in regards to limits we put on ourselves. Now, physically I know I have some limitations due to age and just plain ole creakiness. But mentally, the sky is the limit.  An interesting and thought- provoking idea started as a small tickle in my brain and has now become an itch that must be scratched. Through my blog,I have found that I have really enjoyed the writing process and making people giggle or even just smile. Lately, I’ve been thinking that I could maybe, somehow, potentially, possibly write a book.  I have a lot of things I’d like to write about in regards to my experience with middle school. Most of it, I would like to think is humorous. I guess that will ultimately be for the audience to decide.  Could I really be an author?  Do I have what it takes? Have I lost my mind? And you know what I think? You never know until you try.

I have been dabbling with writing chapters on some things that teachers and administrators deal with at a middle school on a daily basis. I’ve sent these ramblings off to my sister, who by the way is not only a voracious reader but taught English for many years, and I consider her my first line editor for all things I write. As a former teacher at a middle school, she can certainly relate. I have gotten a “thumbs up” from my sis whose opinion I value the most, so I thought I’d just throw this idea out there to you, my blog audience, because I always feel like the more you tell people you are going to do something, the more it holds you accountable. Kind of like, "Hey I've started Weight Watchers" and then you know everyone will be watching your cafeteria tray to see if you are indeed keeping to the program. Here it is - I’m going to do my best to write a book. There I said it. Now I have to follow through. There is no guarantee it will ever get published but that’s OK. At least I tried.

Here is a small excerpt from my book under construction, working title: Caught in the Middle. If you have ever had a middle school child or worked in a school or were a middle school student  (how’s that for covering everyone?!) it will hopefully make you smile. This excerpt is from the chapter entitled "The Invasion of the Cell Phones (as opposed to Body Snatchers – although plenty of cell phones are indeed snatched)."

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Sometimes I think about when I was in middle school in the 1960s, which was then called Junior High. I still didn’t really understand how the whole sex thing worked, let alone shared pictures of my then very perky breasts (which are unfortunately now a distant memory) with any boy that would look at them – which, by the way, is every middle school boy. There was something to be said about an adolescent having a healthy fear of sex. I think my Catholic upbringing had a lot to do with that. I’m almost sure the nuns told us that not only would you go to hell, but things would slowly start falling off your body if you ever let a boy touch you before marriage. Or maybe it was my mother that told me that– I can’t remember.

Horney teenage boy: Holy Moley! Your ear just came off as I was breathing into it!

If this was the 1960s, instead of taking naked selfies and throwing those pictures into cyberspace, girls in my day would have had to borrow their parent’s camera, buy film, and then take it to a developer who would have then called your parents or the police, which would have inevitably led to a life in the convent. Or if you were lucky enough to have a polaroid, you could develop it yourself and wait for it to appear before your eyes, which would give your brain enough time to realize that you are indeed acting like a “bad girl” and that the gods above would still see this as virtually touching a boy before marriage and soon your nose would drop off in your lap. 

Now middle schoolers think they know a lot about sex and relationships, but truthfully they know just enough to be dangerous. Maybe instead of sex education in health class we should go back to the story about body parts falling off. Raise your hand if you think that’s a good idea.

Yep - sex, bullying, distractions galore - cell phones have changed the life of parents, students, teachers and principals forever.

Parents not only deal with having to check their child’s cellphones for porn or other disgusting things, but it seems that they themselves have become tethered to their children through this technology. Even though we strongly urge them not to, they text their children at school in the middle of class. What? Has someone in the family lost a limb? Has Dad run off with the neighborhood bimbo? Is a tsunami heading this way? No - It’s usually something like, “I’m checking you out at 1PM.” Guess what?  The kid will figure that out at 1.

Students not only text friends at school but also their parents.  Texts, by the way, are usually done in the bathroom stall which is why so many kids are asking to go to the bathroom every ten minutes. Heaven forbid the teacher says no and the child ends up with some sort of freakish bladder infection. That teacher will undoubtedly be sent before a judge trying to explain that he or she was just trying to educate the child, which is hard to do when the child in is the bathroom 90% of the school day. Maybe the teacher should text the student the lesson so he or she can at least learn something while in the stall.  I shouldn’t even joke about that because some idiot with authority might just read this and think that’s a good idea.

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This is just a tidbit of the chapter. So whaddya think? Can I do this? Is it possible?

Am I crazy? I welcome any feedback.