Hey! George Hamilton - Are you having the same problems?

My plan was to create a video this weekend featuring the process of stripping a triple dresser. My husband and I strategically planned  how we were going to manage moving it out of a 2^nd story bedroom to the front wraparound porch to strip and sand the entire piece in preparation for painting. I was gearing myself up to learn how to use YouTube. I was doing crunches, lifting weights and choosing my wardrobe for the shoot that included some cleavage (I’m kidding, didn’t do any of that and cleavage at my age includes breast wrinkles!) We were ready for our “close-up”.  And then – sigh - the life of a more “mature” adult gets in the way.

That's me - young, tan and foolish.

Phil and I moved to Georgia from Florida 29 years ago. I was a Florida girl for over 20 years and still

consider the Sunshine State my real home. I spent most of my time in my teens and twenties in the sun. Our idea of sunscreen at the time was a bottle of Coppertone advertising the precocious, little blonde tot and the black cocker spaniel pulling down her bottoms. But I, along with most kids, slathered my body with baby oil which created the effect of bacon sizzling in a skillet. The bacon being me. My best friend Randee and I used to increase the amount of sun our faces would absorb by using reflecting shields. Stupid. My husband did much of the same and now we are both paying for our mistakes. Me, with my sagging skin, hands that look 100 years old, and a bout with a melanoma, and my husband with basal cell carcinoma. Phil had skin cancer surgery (Mohs) last week on his face and will have another round of surgery this week as well. They have suggested that he not lift anything heavy. Well – that leaves out the dresser for sure. Those George Hamilton tans come with a hefty price tag.

Sometime this week I will be posting reflections regarding this furniture and other pieces that will be included in our master bedroom makeover. Our cinematic debut will have to wait.

P.S. The headboard and storage bench were delivered. Walmart did not disappoint. The headboard is fabulous. Elegant and luxurious. The storage bench is acceptable. The old adage of you get what you pay for is certainly true. Although I would have liked the bench to be a bit more padded and well-made, it was worth the $99.00.

Not bad for $99.00

This will STAY covered with plastic until there is not one ounce of wet paint in the entire area!

Is it possible to have a love/hate relationship with Walmart?

Let me just say I am not a fan of shopping at Walmart. I know, I know – things are definitely cheaper there, and they employ a lot of people, and everything you could possibly need is stuffed into one building, and they have that catchy little “rollback” thing going on with the smiley face – BUT -  I seem to get aggravated the moment I step through the automatic doors and am inundated by the claw machines with the toys inside, a million shopping carts and the senior citizen known as the “Walmart Greeter”. I’m not sure where this negative relationship between Walmart and me started. It could be that every time I try and find something there I end up at the opposite side of the store where it is located, have to walk 2 miles (ok a bit of hyperbole but it FEELS like 2 miles) and wander around trying to find what I’m looking for. And then I start getting aggravated. Possibly my true fear is that someone will take a picture of my butt in stretchy shorts and I will end up on that horrible People of Walmart website and branded a Walmart shopper. THAT would be tragic.

Well I have to start choosing my attitude towards Walmart because I actually made a purchase from them that I love. Now granted it was online and I didn't have to deal with finding it in the store but I really do love the item. It was a headboard. I ordered it when we revamped and redecorated our in- law suite. I ordered a full sized headboard and figured if I didn't like it I could return it to the neighborhood store. As much as I would have dreaded the return process I clicked “confirm purchase” and kept my fingers crossed. Well surprise, surprise. I really like it. Yes – we had to put it together, but it was a breeze and it was only $80 and it looks good – really, it does.

So I decided when I started looking for a headboard for my new low budget master bedroom design I started with Walmart online. I found exactly what I was looking for in a matter of minutes. May I say that shopping online is AWESOME – a true modern miracle. However, that is the subject for a whole other post so back to the headboard. This particular headboard I chose happened to be the most expensive headboard too which may have defeated the purpose of shopping at Walmart. I get the irony in that – I do. Nonetheless, I ordered a charcoal-grey, upholstered headboard for a king bed and it was $379 – a HUGE piece of my $1000 budget for the master bedroom.  Rationalizing to my husband I exclaimed, “But the shipping is free!” and followed that up with my charming smile that frankly doesn't work on him anymore. In fact – let’s be honest. After 29 years of marriage that hasn't worked in quite a while. He’s on to me. But I feel that this is a statement piece in the bedroom and worth the cost.

After he recovered from the price of the headboard I added quickly, “and I got a GREAT deal on a storage bench for the foot of the bed. Only $99!!!” So my advice is hit ‘em hard with the worst news first and then everything else after that is a piece of cake. Really. Try it. My children have been watching this strategy for a long time and actually as I now think about it I realize – DAMN. They have been using that on ME! Payback is hell.

Well right now I’m waiting for my treasures to be delivered. I will let you know how it all turns out and if I have to make a trip to the local Walmart to return them.

P.S. I WON’T be wearing stretchy shorts!

Nicole Curtis...can I be you?

I don’t know exactly when the obsession began. Possibly watching Nicole Curtis re-do the Dollar House or perhaps watching Anthony Carrillo renovating kitchens with his cousin (have you SEEN their bodies??? Hubba hubba). Sorry – I digress – I confess I am an HGTV and DIY junkie.  Though I don’t know what sparked my fire, I have developed a deep passion for renovation. From learning the ins and outs, to mimicking DIY techniques, to undertaking large scale renovations – I love it all. Taking something ugly and making something beautiful. Or maybe it’s making something my own. How cool is that? Now let’s be clear – I am no Nicole Curtis in any sense of the word. If you don’t know who she is you should. She is a hot blonde about 20+ years younger than me with a killer body, great hair and triceps and abs to die for. I, on the other hand, am a 60 year old who covers her grey, has a sagging body, thinning hair and triceps that flap in the wind. I won’t mention the abs. Depressing. Nicole’s a steamroller of a rehabber with a strong Midwestern accent which I would suspect annoys most people. In fact when my sister watches her show, Rehab Addict, my brother-in-law makes her wear headphones so he doesn't have to listen to Nicole’s nasal twang. But for me her voice reminds me of my childhood which was in and around the Chicago area and it is nostalgic to me. If I didn't respect the work she was doing rehabbing old homes and enjoy listening to her walk us through her renovations I suppose I would have to decide to hate her because she is so beautiful and accomplished and young and fit and… OK OK I’m jealous. Alright? It’s allowed. Puhleeze!

So part of this blog will be discussing renovations that my husband and I are currently working on within our 30 year old home. And unlike TV, it doesn't take place in an episode. THEY TAKE FOREVER!!! When I see an article in a magazine or a commercial on HGTV that states, “A quick renovation that can be done in a weekend”, I’m gonna be honest. I get a little pissed. They don’t consider the 12 times you had to go BACK to the home improvement store because you bought the wrong size or color or possibly you ruined the first one, or you didn't buy enough, or maybe you realized you didn't have all the parts and the list goes on and on. They also leave out trips to the hospital (more on that in another post) and don’t tell you that you get pretty darn tired doing this stuff and maybe can’t put in 14 hours a day BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT 30-SOMETHING LIKE ALL THE PEOPLE THEY SHOW ON TV!!!!! Whew. I’m glad I got that off my chest.

A "before" shot of the bedroom. Everything in there is ancient-
and not in a good way.

I am currently working on our master bedroom. This is the bedroom where both our children were conceived and unfortunately not much has changed décor-wise since then, which wouldn't be an issue if our kids were not GROWN ADULTS! In other words – it’s way overdue for a remodel. I am refinishing furniture, repainting, redecorating and will take you through the process with me from before to after. The work must be completed on the weekends because – hey – I’m still working at the middle school until January. When I come home from work I just want a nice cold glass of Pinto Grigio and relax and try to forget about the kid that screamed at the teacher or the student that didn't understand slapping a girl on the butt is wrong or the parent that cussed me out on the phone or the teacher that is upset at his/her evaluation or the child that is being abused or neglected or – or - or - it’s never-ending.

Hats, flashlight and aloe will NOT be a part of the new design!

Did I mention how much I love Pinot Grigio? The Best. Now I don’t condone drinking until you vomit but having a couple of glasses of wine in the evening is right up my alley. So right now I’m going to sign off, place my tired squished-into-pumps-feet up, enjoy my glass of wine, and watch some HGTV. I’ll tell you more about the bedroom in the next post. It’s gonna be amazing when I’m finished and all for a budget of $1000.00. I sound like a commercial for HGTV.

Oh my.

Does aging HAVE to suck?

I’m going say it upfront - loud and proud. Right now I have no idea what I’m doing as far as blogging is concerned and I find myself once again at the bottom of the learning curve. But that’s OK. It certainly isn’t the first time I have had to learn something new and taken a chance and I hope to God it’s not the last. That would mean that I’m not trying - growing – breathing - and that I’m stagnant. Being stagnant like a pond without flow is what I am desperately trying to avoid. Besides I have enough unwanted things growing on my body - I certainly don’t need ALGAE!  Seriously though I have been contemplating making a change, renovating our house, reinventing myself, and reimagining what life can become because…

Today

I

turn

60.

Ouch.

As my mother would say (who just passed away at 92), “That’s still young!” However standing in my shoes right now, with my ingrown and fungus toenail, my bunion and my artificial hip I’m not feeling the “young” part. What is it with celebrities that espouse the virtues of being a women of later age? “It’s the best time of my life!” – “I’ve never felt better!” – “Being older is great!” Really????? They fail to tell you that they have had plastic surgery, have personal trainers, professional make-up artists and a hairdresser at their beckoned call. Hmmpf. I’d look damn good too if I had all that! Now granted I’m still thrilled that I’m still alive and kickin’. But it has been a stretch for me to think that this is the BEST part of my life. Sooooooo… that is how this blog has evolved. I sincerely DO want this age to be the best part of my life. And never being one to shy away from a challenge, I must figure out HOW to make that happen because it sure the hell isn’t going to happen without some help from me. I read an interview with Jane Fonda, who is a fabulous 76, and she described her age as “My 3^rd Act”. If you do the math this is my 3^rd Act - the last third of my life if I’m lucky enough to live to ninety. I could let that be fricking depressing but I am choosing to be proactive and hoping to make it exciting and challenging and when I say challenging I mean that in a good way. Not in the way that means it’s challenging to get out of bed in the morning because of all the aches and pains!

I am in the process of semi-retiring. It will be official January 1^st. I say “semi” because I still have to earn some income besides my pension. I have 16 years with a school system which is certainly not a full pension but I have decided it’s time for me to leave. My current position is as an Assistant Principal at a middle school. Yeah. Now you feel sorry for me doncha? Damn right. If you have ever dealt with a middle schooler you know what I’m talking about. It’s a stress mill. Recently, I lined up all my school pictures starting with when I began my mid-life career as a teacher at the age of 44 and observed how I have aged since I took the job as an AP 7 years ago. Wow. It’s scary. It’s like the Presidents. They start out all bright –eyed and handsome and when they leave they are haggard and defeated and have wrinkles the depth of the Grand Canyon. Well I’m trying to get out before the light goes out in my eyes and my wrinkles and lines form a network of trenches around my face. So… that begs the question….What Next????

Stay tuned….