Motorized Mayhem - Who wants THAT job?

NOT ME!

One of the chapters in my manuscript-in-the-making, Caught in the Middle, is dedicated to the fearless bus drivers that are on the front lines every day. This is just a small excerpt from the beginning of that chapter:

DISCLAIMER: To my middle school colleagues - you really don't look haggard and exhausted. I just took some literary license. However I, on the other hand, most certainly do!

All hail the bus drivers! 

I mean it. Right now – everyone should bow down and praise the men and women who transport these middle school children to and from school five days a week.

In elementary school there may be a few issues on the bus in regards to behavior although it’s mostly kindergartners crying for the first week of school, items lost, or parents that won’t let go at the bus stop. Most of the problems will come from 5^th graders later in the year because ….well… they are becoming middle schoolers.

In high school the routes usually start very early so the students are basically still asleep in the morning. In the afternoon most of them have some sort of sports practice or club meeting to attend so the bus is half empty and the ones that are riding the bus use that time for a catnap. High school kids sleep a lot. Duuuuhhhh!!!! They used up all their energy while they were in middle school which is why 99.99% of all middle school teachers and administrators look the way I do  - haggard and exhausted. 

In our district, the middle school students start school the latest and return home latest in the day compared to the other levels. That means they are WIDE AWAKE in the morning and in RARE FORM by the time the end of the day rolls around. Ask any bus driver. The middle school route is definitely the most difficult and challenging. Students try the drivers’ patience and their sanity. At the end of the school year, if teachers and administrators have twitches and are in need of some serious sedatives, then bus drivers need a rubber room.

And whose idea was it to put 50 adolescents in a moving vehicle with no seat belts, one adult present, and that adult has his or her back turned the entire time? Think about that. That is a recipe for bedlam if I ever saw one. As a first year teacher, one thing you learn immediately is to NEVER turn your back on the little suckers. That's why years ago overhead projectors were created. Brilliant invention. However, bus drivers have no choice. They must keep their eyes on the road at all times and get children to and from school safely while the kids are yelling obscenities, hurling items around the bus, and causing general mayhem. I have often said, and I mean it, you could not pay me enough money to be a bus driver. Bus drivers deserve a medal, better yet a gazillion dollar raise, or minimally a stocked liquor cabinet. I think it's only fair.

I'm always looking for funny anecdotes in regards to our wonderful middle school students. Please share any ideas and stories with me that make you laugh and  I will keep writing!