Can you actually have fun painting a house?

No – not really. But it made a good title. Sorry for messin’ with ya. Painting is hard, tedious work but it is the least expensive and highest impact change to décor. I'm now mid-renovation for the master bedroom and believe me when I say it's much easier for me than it was 30 years ago.

What a mess. But it will be worth it in the end.

When we first moved into this house, I was a virgin.  Homeowner, that is. I was 30 so chances of me being the other kind of virgin were slim to none. Up until that time I was an apartment dweller and a bit nomadic as young people tend to be. So when my husband said, “Patti, go pick out the wallpaper, light fixtures, flooring, and paint for the house.” I was overwhelmed. Excited, but overwhelmed. I knew NOTHING about all this and predictably I made some horrible choices - with pretty much everything. I chose white carpet for god’s sake. Did I mention we live in Georgia?  The state with RED CLAY! I sucked at decorating a home – plain and simple.

We had a very good friend who was a contractor and was helping us with projects around the house when we first moved in. He was building an island in the kitchen as I was attempting to paint all the bedrooms (hideous colors by the way). One day I came downstairs and was in tears because I “ruined” the guest bedroom. He patiently walked upstairs with me and looked at my work. For some reason I thought lavender would be a good color choice. Must have had some sort of lack of good sense disease or something. Could have been the paint fumes. Anyway, I had it all over the ceiling and all over the trim. At that point, he made me back away from the roller and brush and took the time to show me some tips and tricks. I never looked back. And I changed the lavender.

He taught me how to use a trim brush so I never have to tape off. That in itself is invaluable. What a time saver! However, no matter how well he taught me to paint the walls and ceilings there was nothing he could do about the fact that when I’m finished painting I’ve pretty much got paint everywhere. I mean I end up with paint in places on my body, as a southerner would say, “Where the sun don’t shine”. How the hell does that happen? If I drip paint on the drop cloth it’s 100% sure I will step in it. I get it all over my clothes, hair and exposed skin but the job on the walls is superb. I have drawers of “painting and renovating” clothes. Mostly because I never listened to my husband when he told me to change into old clothes before I started painting, therefore I have ruined lots of clothes. Lots of them. I’m not exactly a quick study. Why can’t I be like the stars on TV who wear tight jeans, white tops and have absolutely no paint on them? Are you kidding me? They must roll on paint for the camera for 1 minute and then have the crew take over. I look like hell when I’m painting – no makeup, nasty clothes and old shoes. You should do the same. Be comfortable.

If you are a novice painter (like I was) there are a few other tips I’d like to share with you that will make your life easier when you take on a painting project.

• Wear latex or disposable gloves with a tight fit when you paint. I didn’t discover this until about a year ago. Don’t ask me why I didn’t think of this earlier. It makes SO much sense. Believe me – I have had paint in my fingernails and wedged in between all the wrinkles in my hands and fingers. Gloves are a must. Just dispose of them when you are done.  1,000 years from now, in some landfill, someone will find all my old painting gloves. Seriously.
• Use plastic roller tray liners. I will NEVER wash another roller pan again. When I dispose of them I fold them and tie it up in a plastic grocery bag. I’m sure the “green” police are starting to get alerted about all this but hey – these things are the BEST. I buy the contractor packs.
•  Use a handheld small container for cutting in and trim.  They sell them at the home improvement stores. Here is the best part – they make disposable liners for that too, which I also throw away in a plastic grocery bag. Please don’t picket my house. 

  

  Love to use this for painting trim

•  Invest in a good trim brush. I do take care of my brushes. I wash them thoroughly in warm soapy water and then carefully wrap them in paper towels to keep the bristles together as they dry. See…I do keep something!
• You can skimp on quality rollers for priming but buy a better one for the wall color paint. Here Is another thing re-users and recyclers will hate – When I am done with a roller I throw it away. Yep. I’m guilty. When I’m finished I put my hand in a plastic grocery bag, grab the roller, and pull it off the roller handle thingy. It will automatically be inside the grocery bag and your hands will be clean. Well clean physically however metaphorically I guess they are “dirty” because you didn’t recycle or re-use. Sigh…
• Canvas drop cloths are best, but if you don’t have them use old sheets doubled up (in case of spills and splats). While using these I place a large piece of hard cardboard (cut up box) on the sheet and leave the paint can, roller pan etc. on the cardboard. Throw it away after you’re done! Oops. Sorry recyclers. I should get some brownie points for re-using old sheets though.
•  Use a step ladder as opposed to a tall ladder. It’s much easier to handle, move around and perfect for 8 ft. ceilings. Use a small extender for the roller. If you have taller ceilings you will need a regular ladder and hopefully you have a hunk like Anthony Carillo (Kitchen Cousins) hanging around just to help you move it from place to place. Most of us don’t have an “Anthony”, so if you can, use a step ladder. And really, if Anthony was in your house why in the hell are you spending your time painting?

  

  My trusty stepladder. Note the paint drips.
  Yep - that's me!

•  Use cling wrap or zip lock bags to keep your brushes and rollers that are full of paint moist if you will need them again later that day. This is not for when you will be painting next weekend or next month though. If you won’t be getting back to the job within 24 hours suck it up and wash the brushes and plan on using a new roller.
•  Turn on your favorite music.  Sing and shake a tail feather as you paint. For heaven’s sake don’t shake the brush or roller – just your butt. It makes the process much more enjoyable. You may look and sound like a fool, but who cares?

I’m sure I have completely alienated myself from anyone who is earth friendly with my time and work saving tips; however painting is time-consuming hard work and anything that makes it easier is a good thing (now I sound like Martha Stewart). If you have hesitated to take on a paint project don’t. You can do it. Be sure to get the gloves though. Your hands will thank me later.